So recently life hasn’t really been going to plan. Nothing terrible has happened, I am by no means complaining about my life as such, in so many ways I am very lucky, and I don’t really have anyone to blame but myself, but I’ve just had no motivation to do anything at all recently, and I’ve just fallen into a bit of slump with everything!

I was planning on a cut before summer, and was trying to really get strict with my diet and consistent in the gym, but unfortunately things didn’t really go like that, mostly due to exams, and so something had to go, and unfortunately you cant stop doing uni.

I know that you can’t beat yourself up over times like this, that it happens to everyone, and usually I can pull myself out of this kind of state of mind, but the past couple of months nothing has worked, and its really hard to not let it get to you, I haven’t wanted to be taking photos, and I didn’t want to talk about it really!

I’ve put on weight, and that hasn’t motivated me, I’ve sat and cried about it, disgusted with myself, and that hasn’t either, but I am getting so sick of feeling like that, so I’m praying that may be the thing that gets me back on track!

Coursework deadlines, exams, and moving home happened, and then starting work in a new place, things in my personal life, uncertainty about plans for next year, it’s all lead to being a bit stressy, and feeling a bit overwhelmed at times, which made it feel like the gym and my diet was just something I couldn’t deal with worrying about.

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I go on holiday this week, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed that I’m not going to be getting the holiday photos I was hoping for, and I’m feeling a bit deflated because of it, but I am trying to use it as a turning point, and hoping to be raring to go and hit the gym and my diet HARD when I get back!

Ultimately there are more important things in life than looking your best, and I’m trying to remember that and focus on working, and spending some time not worrying too much what I’m eating which always makes food more of a social occasion, and it also keeps my mum happier, which makes life easier! My problem however is that I go overboard, I go to extremes, and feel like I’ve eaten pure junk for a solid couple of months now, and I’m not happy because of it at all, I feel very self-conscious and like I’ve let myself down!

So this has been quite a negative post really, but no one can be positive and happy and motivated and making progress all the time, and although this has been a big set back for me, I’m hoping after I get back off holiday I can use it as a new start and feel good about myself again, and maybe even try and help anyone in the same situation along the way!

I’m hoping to start filming workout videos or at least clips, and also more reviews, so hopefully that will also be something to concentrate on!

TOMORROW IS ALWAYS A NEW START.

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